Jacob Bellens - Off My Meds

HFN MUSIC - HFN155LP

Off My Meds is Jacob Bellens' new solo album released in October 2023 on hfn music.

Off My Meds took shape over two turbulent years in Jacob's life. Several major life events happened back to back in a very short time, and it ended up breaking him down to a point of total exhaustion. The energy needed to uphold the outer self we all need to function was no longer there, and his inner actual beliefs and values began to show themselves one by one, which was not pretty to look at. Change was inevitable, simply because the price of not changing would be much higher in the long term.

As a result, he experienced a reconnection to an inner world that had been buried and locked away since his late childhood. A period of extreme emotional highs and lows, but also blossoming creativity ensued - equally thrilling, productive, exuberant and nerve wrecking. The result is Off My Meds - an album like no other in his previous repertoire. It is a summary of the death of an intellectually constructed version of himself, originally created for selfprotection, that no longer served a purpose. And the following rebirth of a new and more emotionally authentic version that was difficult, but necessary.

The album is a pop-poem about accepting the premise of the life given to you. It is an ode to the perils of modern existence and our birthgiven right to love, laugh and cry, whatever hand we may have been dealt to begin with. Lyrically it is centered around self care and the courage to love someone and be loved in return. About taking responsibility for everything in your life instead of using your life history as an excuse for not living, no matter how tragic or unique your situation might be or seem to yourself.

Musically it draws upon an eclectic mix of influences and genres, while still maintaining a distinct underlying red thread throughout the album. It is a melancholic funk hybrid with a positive DNA, and though it sounds like pop music in the best sense of the word, it doesn't quite look and feel like pop music. It is rather a collection of sounds and feelings put into words that are deeply personal - but personal for all.

"I made the album while doubting everything in my life." says Jacob. "My ability to function in society, my perception of who I was at the time, my worth as an artist and as a father and caregiver. I took up painting, wrote poems and began making more physical and intuitive music than I had been doing earlier. Learning who you really are can be an extremely hard pill to swallow and to me, the choice appears binary, almost Matrix-like; If you choose to see all the shameful and horrible sides of your personality for what they are, you can't go back. But, if you do that instead of keep running from yourself, a new life awaits you on the other side. During the two years that passed, I wrote the songs that became Off My Meds, and it feels like the last pages in the first chapter of my life as a recording artist. With room for something new to follow, it is a body of work that is all about transition, but most of all about gratitude for being able to reclaim a life I thought was gone forever."

Side A:
It Ain't No Wonder
Glad You Came
Not As Manic As I Used To Be
Want What I Can't Have
Ride My Wave

Side B:
I Can't Live My Life Like This
Doing Fine
Nothing Comes Easy
Stardust

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